Monday, February 8, 2016

Life: Date Your Wife


I know that most of what I post here is related to my portfolio, the watch list, money making ideas, and other stock related items but I want to make sure that you all know that this blog is intended to serve a much bigger purpose. I hope for it to also log certain parts of my life so that I can remain mindful and hopefully it will serve the same for some of you. With that being said, I want to log a little bit about my life in the recent month and why I want to remind myself that it's important to continue to date your wife long after you're married.

At the beginning of January, I was married for the first time to my best friend, Kaleigh. We were married in the church down the street by a pastor that we had only met a few months prior under a recommendation by my wife's little sister. We had a heartfelt ceremony that was loved by all and then we celebrated at the alumni center at the University of Nebraska with everyone afterwards for the reception.

I personally don't think that anything can prepare anyone for what it feels like to actually get married. I'm a very outgoing person and I constantly find myself the center of attention because I'm a social butterfly. With that being said, I thought that the ceremony would be the easiest part of all with all eyes on me. I was surprised however to find that for the first time in my lift, I was completely left without my breath when the doors closed at the other end of the aisle and I waited for them to open to see my bride for the first time. My heart was beating out of my chest and the feeling was unlike anything I had ever felt before. When they did finally open, I viewed her in a light I never knew that I could. That was the first moment that I truly knew what I was about to do and I knew that I would have it no other way. We exchanged vows through tears and smiles and then we were married.

When I think back on my entire life, it trumped everything. It was better than any birthday part, graduation, gift, or action that anyone had ever done for or with me. It was definitely the happiest I've ever been without any doubt in my mind. Now that the moment is gone however, I want to make sure that I remember that even though we are now legally bound, the fight to stay together should forever be ongoing.

Other than death and taxes, nothing in this life is guaranteed. A marriage means that legally you are bound together but not that you can now begin to slack off because you know that it will be hell to try to get separated. I've tried to remember this in the first month of our marriage because I want to remember that I always need to be dating my wife. Dates keep the love and passion alive and they serve to remind each one of us that we still want to work on our relationship together even if there aren't any current issues to work out.

Almost as soon as we were married, I started a new shift at work that placed us both on opposite schedules. Instead of being able to ride to and from work together, we now spent hours of the day apart and it felt like all we were doing was seeing each other at work for the tiny hours that happened to overlap and the small amount of time that it took her to get ready in the morning while I drank my morning cup of Joe and kept her company. We undoubtedly had hit our first test in our marriage.

With every test however, there is an answer key. I remembered something that was said in our premarital classes. The leading pastor had stated that his biggest piece of advice was to never stop dating each other. This set me to work on the plan of attack - my answer key. My current work schedule now had me working until 9PM each night while she was off at 4:30PM. With this being the case, I knew that she would be home far before I was. I set out a blanket, placed some wood serving boards out, and placed candy and other food items on top. Next to it, I placed a learning harmonica book and a harmonica inside. After that, I set up a sign that explained that as soon as I came home, we'd have a living room picnic date where we would both attempt to learn to play the harmonica together.

Later that evening, she was thrilled to find it and eagerly awaited my arrival so we could get the date underway. Even though I was caught on a call that kept me later than usual at the office, I still arrived home shortly after nine. We fired up the popcorn and got to work. We laughed, we smiled, and we talked about things that we hadn't gotten the chance to talk about. Not to mention, we also tried our best to learn to play the harmonica. She was far better than I was but maybe with a little practice that could change. Our moods suddenly returned to the happiness that we had experiencing leading up to our marriage. The date had worked wonderfully. What I took away from it was that when times get tough on your marriage, go back to what you would try to do to court your partner in the first place. Arrange a fun date even if you don't have a lot of money or time. Scour the internet and you will quickly find ideas that don't cost anything or cost next to nothing. It will be well worth your time.

In conclusion, I want to remind myself in the future and any others who read this post of this important lesson; when life gets tough in your marriage, try to once again date your wife or husband. It may just be what you've been looking for to bring you back to the beginning and back on the right foot.

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